


Dont Leave

by Rehtaeh_Elocin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety, Drama, Fluff, Intimacy, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:26:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23478451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rehtaeh_Elocin/pseuds/Rehtaeh_Elocin
Summary: At the end of Season 15 Episode 3, what if Dean stopped Cas from walking out?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a fic, so comments are much appreciated.  
> I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

"You used to trust me. Give me the benefit of the doubt. Now you can barely look at me. My powers are failing, and I've tried to talk to you over and over, and you just dont want to hear it. You dont care. I'm dead to you. You still blame me for Mary."  
Dean cast his eyes down then back up, giving a slight head nod.  
"Well I dont think theres anything left to say." Cas stated, then turned around and started to walk away.  
"Where are you going?" Dean asked.  
Cas paused. "Jack's dead. Chuck's gone. You and Sam have each other." Cas turned halfway around and took one last look at Dean. "I think it's time for me to move on." Then he turned around and continued to walk away.  
Dean stood there leaning back against the library table, his heart sank into his stomach. Cas was leaving. He'd finally had enough of Dean's bullshit and he was walking away. He could hear Cas' footsteps and knew he was at the bunker stairs.  
In a split second Dean made a decision. He didnt even know what he was really doing, he just knew he couldn't let it end this way, and before he knew it he was chasing after Cas.  
"Cas wait" he said. He stopped directly behind Cas.  
Cas stopped for a second, but didnt turn around. He sighed and took another step, foot landing on the first stair.  
"Cas, please!"  
Cas stopped again. "What Dean?"  
"Just please wait a second" Dean said, his mind racing.  
Cas' shoulders sank, his resolve to leave softening at the desperation in Dean's voice.  
"Please turn around and look at me."  
Cas took a second, then slowly turned around, taking his foot off the stairs. He looked into Dean's face. "Why? What else is there to say?" Cas was both angry and hurt. He couldn't take anymore verbal assaults, especially from Dean.  
"Just wait" Dean said. He could feel his heart beating faster by the second. His breath quickening. But looking into Cas' hurt face, he knew it was now or never.  
Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips to Cas'. They were soft, and warm, and just slightly chapped.  
He heard Cas' sharp intake of breath. Dean moved his hand up and slipped it behind Cas' head.  
Cas was stunned, he couldn't move for a second. What was happening? Why was Dean kissing him? After the shock wore off, Cas pressed back, deepening the kiss. He let out a small involuntary moan.  
After not nearly enough time, Dean pulled back and looked into Cas' eyes. "Dont leave." Dean sighed. "Just, don't leave." With that, Dean pulled his hand away and walked towards the hallway.  
Cas stood there at the bottom of the stairs stunned. What just happened? He could feel his heart racing. Hed known for a while that his feeling towards Dean were more than brotherly. That their bond was more than just an angel looking after his charge. But he didnt think Dean had those same feelings. Maybe he didnt. Maybe he just did what he did to keep Cas from walking out again.  
As these thoughts all swirled through his head, Sam came into the war room.  
"Oh Cas good, can you help me look through these?" He asked, as he set a pile of books onto the map table.  
"Cas? You alright?" Sam asked when Cas didn't respond or move.  
"Huh? What?" Cas said as he looked at Sam, shaking the thoughts away.  
Sam let off a short laugh "I could use some help on this research. I'm gonna find a way to bring Rowena back."  
"Oh. Sure Sam" Cas said, moving to sit at the table opposite him. He removed his trench coat and blazer before sitting down, rolling up the sleeves of his white dress shirt. He pulled a book towards him and opened it, looking at the pages.  
Cas couldn't concentrate on what he was looking at. He had too many thoughts in his head right now.  
After about 15 minutes Sam noticed Cas hadnt turned a page in quite a while. Shutting his own book, Sam said "alright Cas, what's up?"  
Cas looked up into Sam's face "what do you mean?"  
"You're a major space case, and that usually means something happened. So what is it? Dean tearing down on you hard again?"  
"No. I mean, yes he did, but that's not the problem." Cas shook his head.  
"Then what is it?" Sam asked, concern coloring his face.  
"I'm not sure Dean would want me talking about this" Cas said.  
"Cas, man, whatever it is can just be between us if you want. I wont say a word to him. Just tell me, because I'm starting to get worried." Sam folded his hands on the table, showing Cas he wasnt going to drop this.  
"Alright" Cas said, realizing that he wasnt getting anywhere in his own head and really could use some advice from the person who knew Dean the best. "Well, Dean and I fought. He doesn't listen to me, and he blames me for everything, so I decided it was time to leave. When I tried, Dean stopped me."  
"Okay, so what's bothering you about that?" Sam asked, confused at the problem.  
Cas sighed "he stopped me by kissing me. Then he asked me not to leave, and walked away."  
"Oh" Sam's face lit up. "Well it's about time" he said.  
Cas furrowed his brow "what?"  
Sam laughed "come one Cas, you guys have been dancing around this for far too long. It's about time one of you bucked up and made a move."  
"This all very confusing. So you think he didnt just do it to keep me from leaving?" Cas asked.  
"No Cas. I think he did it because hes wanted to for a long time, and you leaving finally pushed him to act."  
Cas looked down at the table. "Did he tell you this?"  
"Hah no Cas, Dean would never admit to his feelings unless forced. I have eyes. I'm an observant person. And I know my brother very well. Trust me." Sam smiled.  
"So, what do I do?" Cas asked.  
"Go and talk to him. He's probably in there worrying about how you're reacting to what he did." Sam stated.  
Cas just sat there for a few more minutes in silence, staring once again at the open book. Sam opened his book back up, resolving to let Cas take it from here.


	2. Chapter 2

Sighing again, Cas slowly stood up from the table. Not looking at Sam, he walked around the table towards the hall.  
"Good luck" Sam said.  
Cas grunted, and continued walking. As he entered the hallway, he decided he wasnt quite ready to face Dean, so he turned into the kitchen, deciding to make some coffee or something. Anything to procrastinate the inevitable.   
As he entered the kitchen and walked towards the coffee maker, he saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned towards the table, noticing Dean sitting there with his head lowered.  
Dean's head whipped up. "Cas" he breathlessly whispered.  
Cas closed his eyes and turned away, back towards his task at hand. "Coffee?" He asked.  
"Wha... Oh sure thanks" Dean said. He slowly got up from the table, watching Cas meticulously fill each part of the coffee maker, before pushing the start button.  
Cas stood watching the coffee slowly stream down into the carafe, as Dean made his way up to him.  
Standing directly behind Cas, Dean sighed. "Cas..."  
"You want sugar?" Cas interrupted him.  
"No, thanks" Dean replied, starting to get worried. Maybe he'd crossed a line. Maybe Cas doesn't feel the same way he does. Maybe he'd just kissed him back to be nice.   
As Cas bent down to grab a couple of mugs from the shelf, Dean didnt move. He could feel Cas' ass just lightly graze him as he bent down, and Dean closed his eyes.  
"Cas, can we please talk?" Dean asked as Cas stood back up.  
"Yes, that's probably a good idea." Cas stated, as he poured the coffee into the two mugs. He turned around, handing one to Dean.  
"Thanks" Dean took a sip of his coffee.  
Cas reached back and set his mug down, untouched. "Why did you do it?"  
Dean took a deep breath. This was it. He was about to get his heart crushed. "I didnt want you to leave."  
Cas slowly nodded "yeah, I figured that was why. It's okay Dean, I'm not going. We can just pretend it didnt happen."  
"What? No, Cas, I don't want to forget it" Dean started getting a little flustered.  
Cas tilted his head to the side, the way he always did when he was confused. "I dont understand. You kissed me to get me to stay. I'm staying. Theres no need to pretend Dean. It's really okay."  
Dean leaned past Cas and set his mug down. As he pulled back, he looked deep into Cas' eyes.  
Oh shit, Cas thought he'd only kissed him to get him to stay, Dean thought. Like Dean would actually do something like that.  
Dean shook his head. "You have it all wrong." He then placed his right hand on Cas' upper arm. "I didnt do it just to get you to stay. I wanted to. I've wanted to for a while."  
Cas' heart started to pound. Could this be real? He couldn't believe Dean had just said those words to him.  
Then Cas decided, why not, and leaned forward towards Dean, studying him to see if he'd pull away. When Dean didnt back down, Cas pressed his lips to Deans.  
For the second time that day, Dean thought his heart might stop. As he kissed Cas back, he felt Cas move closer and press his body against Dean's. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, pulling him flush against his body.  
As the kiss deepened, Dean attempted to pull back to get a breath, but Cas wasnt relenting. He put his hand in Dean's hair, and pulled his face back in. As Dean let off a small noise, Cas took the opportunity to slide his tongue along Dean's bottom lip. In turn, Dead pushed his tongue past Cas' lips, attempting to taste every part of his mouth.  
Suddenly there was a noise, and both jumped apart to look at the doorway, attempting to look casual.  
"Oh, umm, sorry. Didnt know you guys were in here. What's going on?" Sam said.  
Dean could feel his face turning red. "Nothing, just talking.  
"Want some coffee?" Cas asked.  
"Uh, sure. Thanks" Sam replied, furrowing his brow. He wanted to ask Cas if they'd talked yet, but didnt want to call out in front of Dean that Cas had confided in him.  
Suddenly Dean turned around. "Going to my room" he mumbled, then walked out of the kitchen.  
Cas poured Sam a cup of coffee and handed it to him.  
"So what happened?" Sam asked.  
"We were talking" Cas looked toward the hall after Dean.  
"Well go finish your talk. Sorry I interrupted, I thought you'd gone to his room. Tell you what, I'll run out and grab some food." Sam stated, taking a sip of coffee and setting the mug down. "Tell Dean I ran out and I'll be back with food. And that I know 'dont forget pie.'" Sam said, in a mock Dean tone. Sam smiled, turned around, and left the kitchen.  
Cas could hear him ascend the bunker stairs, and when the door closed he walked into the hall.


	3. Chapter 3

As Cas approached Dean's bedroom door, he hesitated. Not sure why he was so unsure, as he and Dean had just kissed, twice, he waited a full minute before he knocked.  
"Yeah?" He heard from inside.  
"Its Cas. Sam ran out to get food, said he'd bring back pie. Can I come in?" Cas said through the door.  
The door opened and Dean stood on the other side. Dean looked out at Cas for a moment before he backed up, letting him into the room. Cas stepped in, and Dean closed the door behind him.  
Dean walked past Cas, over to his desk, where he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a glass. Holding the glass up to Cas with a questioning head tilt.  
"No, thanks." Cas responded to the unasked question. Dean shrugged and poured himself a glass full.  
Cas looked on disappointedly as Dean downed the entire glass.  
"I wish you wouldnt do that right now" Cas said.  
Dean turned back to the desk, set the glass down, and poured another half glass. "Why?" He asked.  
"Because we should finish talking" Cas responded.  
Dean grunted and turned back to Cas, glass in hand.  
"Dean, what do you want?" Cas asked.  
Dean shrugged, looking down. That answer wasnt going to cut it, so he asked more forcefully "Dean, what do you want?!"  
Dean tipped the glass back, downing the whole thing in one swallow "I want you, you idiot!" He all but shouted, slamming the glass onto the desk. "I want you. I have for a long time. I cant stop it and I cant suppress it anymore. I dont want to suppress it anymore!" And with that, Dean strode over to Cas and backed him into the door.  
Cas could feel his pulse speed up, anticipating Dean's next action.  
Dean, holding Cas' shoulders against the door, crushed his lips against the other's. Cas kissed back, grabbing onto Dean's bottom lip with his teeth.  
Dean moved his hands down to Cas' waist, pressing him harder into the door, as he moved his mouth down Cas' jawline to his neck. Cas' hands went up, running through Dean's hair. As Dean sucked on Cas' neck, Cas let off a moan he couldn't hold in anymore. He could feel Dean growing hard against him, his own need pulsing downwards.  
Dean reached both hands up, and ripped the buttons of Cas' shirt open, exposing his chest. Dean's mouth explored down, kissing over Cas' collarbone and chest.  
"Dean" Cas gasped, as Dean pushed his thigh in between Cas' legs. Dean brought his mouth back to Cas', shoving his tongue inside. Its was like Cas was air, and Dean needed him to breathe. He couldn't stop, he didnt want to stop. He wanted all of Cas.  
Cas ran his hands down Dean's sides as Dean attacked his neck again. Gripping his sides, Cas pulled Dean against him as close as he could. He felt like he couldn't catch his breath, and, as an angel, he didnt even need to breathe.  
Cas felt Dean move the leg that was between his thighs, and let out a loud involuntary moan as it pressed against his hard length.  
"Dean" Cas said, trying to get Dean's attention. Dean was pressing kisses, licks, and small bites along Cas' jaw and neck.  
Panting, and trying again Cas said "Dean" and put a little pressure to his hands, which were now on Dean's chest.  
Finally it registered to Dean, and he pulled his mouth off of Cas. Breathing heavily, he looked into Cas's face. "What's wrong?"  
"I just want to make sure you know what you're doing. That this isnt just some lust filled fantasy. As much as I'm enjoying this, I dont want you to regret it afterwards."   
Dean stared into Cas' bright blue eyes. The eyes he'd had many dreams about. The eyes that now looked at him with concern.  
"I will never regret this." Dean stated, leaning in and pressing a light kiss to Cas' lips. "But we probably should slow down. I dont want to take this too fast."  
Cas swallowed hard and nodded "okay".  
Dean peeled himself off of Cas, backing up just a step or two, allowing Cas to move away from the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean walked over and sat on the side of his bed, motioning for Cas to follow him.  
When Cas joined him on the bed, Dean turned towards him. "I dont want you to ever think I'd regret any of this. Even if you change your mind 5 minutes from now, I'll have enjoyed what we've done with no regrets." Dean brought his hand up to Cas' face, touching his cheek.  
"Dean, I'm not going to change my mind" Cas stated. "I've walked this earth for so many millenia and have never had this feeling, until now. Until you." Cas turned his eyes towards the floor. "After everything though, I cant help but worry about the next time you decide I'm dead to you."  
Dean's heart dropped. Hed almost forgotten he'd said that. Almost. "Saying that was one if the stupidest things to ever come out of my mouth. I was hurt, and mad, and I blamed you for moms death. But I should have never said that. I'm sorry Cas."  
Cas continued to stare at the floor, contemplating what hed said.  
"Cas, look at me please" Dean said. Cas looked up into Dean's eyes. "Please forgive me. It was wrong and I regret those words. I regret making you feel that way. I'm sorry." With that, Dean leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to Cas' lips.  
When he pulled back, Cas looked at Dean and nodded. "Okay" he said.  
Cas lowered his head again, and noticed for the first time that the front of his shirt was completely ripped open. "Umm Dean, what happened here?" He asked, with a smile.  
"Yeah, sorry about that. I got a little overexcited I guess" Dean said as he smiled too.  
"Overexcited is an understatement" Cas laughed. "So, you want to take this slow? I'm not sure exactly what that entales. I'm new to this whole thing."  
"Hmmm" Dean said, scooting closer to Cas. "Well, I liked what we were doing, that was good."  
"Me too" Cas said.  
"How about just nothing under the pants. Just for now. I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet" Dean said, hoping Cas was okay with that.  
"Whatever you want is fine Dean. I'll take my cues from you."  
With that, Dean leaned even closer. So close Cas could feel his breath on his face. "So, what do you say we continue what we were doing?"  
As an answer, Cas pressed his lips to Deans.  
Dean laid his hand on Cas' thigh, running his hand along the outside, up to his hip, then along his side until it reached his bare chest. Dean skimmed his hand along the hard lines of Cas. This was different than being with a woman. Not soft and supple, but hard and firm. And the stubble rubbing his chin and cheeks raw. But damn he really liked it. Not because it was a guy, but because it was Cas.  
As they kissed, Cas pushed Dean back on the bed, crawling up next to him. He paused, making sure there were no objections from Dean. When he didnt get any, he threw his leg over Dean's, straddling him.  
Cas leaned down, kissing Dean's mouth first, then moving along his face, down to his neck. He could feel Dean's hands all over him as he sucked a mark onto Dean's neck.  
Wordlessly, Dean pulled off Cas' torn shirt, and threw it to the floor, running his hands back over Cas' chest.  
Cas ground down against Dean, and heard Dean let out a beautiful moan. He really enjoyed making Dean make that noise. He pushed down again causing more friction. He felt Dean grip his bare back, blunt nails digging in.  
"Cas" Dean moaned, pulling up to kiss him again. Suddenly Dean pulled Cas flush with himself and rolled them over so he was now on top of Cas.  
Cas smiled, and proceeded to pull Dean's flannel off his shoulders. Once that was discarded to the floor, he ran his hands up under Dean's tshirt. "This too" he said, as he pulled it up over his stomach. Dean helped to pull off the shirt, then laid his body down on top of Cas.  
The feeling of their skin together felt amazing. Cas couldn't get enough. He slid his hands up and down Dean's back, while Dean pressed their mouths back together.  
"Dean... so... good..." Cas got out between kisses.  
In response, Dean pressed his body down and forward, rubbing their hard lengths together through their pants, and causing Cas to let out the most wonderful sound Dean had ever heard. Dean muffled his moans with his mouth, loving the feel of Cas moaning into him as Dean continued to press and rub their bodies together.  
Suddenly they heard a voice. Sam's voice. "Hey Dean?"  
"Damnit, that was too fast" Dean said, as he rolled off of Cas and stood up from the bed.  
Cas, taking the cue from Dean, stood up and attempted to grab his ripped shirt from the floor.  
Suddenly the bedroom door opened "Dean, foods he.... Oh, wow, sorry. Should've knocked" Sam said, as he looked at each of them in turn. Both on opposite sides of the room. Dean, with a shirt halfway onto his body, and Cas with a ripped shirt in his hands. Sam couldn't help but laugh at the sight.  
"Man, guess I should've taken longer. Oh well, foods here. I got pizza. Come get it before it gets cold." Sam said as he continued to laugh. He turned around and left, closing the door behind him.  
Dean just shook his head, and continued to pull the shirt on.  
"I'm sorry Dean, I should've locked the door" Cas said, looking down at his torn shirt.  
"Its really fine Cas. Here" Dean said, as he handed him one of his tshirts. "Put this on and let's grab something to eat. Dont worry about Sammy."  
"I'm not worried about him. I'm worried about you." Cas said, pulling Dean's shirt over his head.  
Dean looked at Cas' face and saw actual worry there. "Hey, I'm good, really. Would I have liked for him not to walk in on us? Yes. But not because I'm ashamed of this. Not at all. It's just not how I really wanted to tell him."  
"Well, if it makes you feel better, he said he already knew you had feelings for me." Cas said.  
"Wha-? How did that come up?" Dean said, looking baffled.   
"I may have asked him for advice. I'm sorry. I didnt know what to do when you'd kissed me."  
Dean looked upset for just a second. Then it hit him, why does it matter? Cas and Sam were friends. Despite that he was his brother, he was probably the only other friend Cas actually had besides himself. Dean reached for Cas' hand. "Its alright. Let's grab some food." And Dean led them out of his room, toward the food.


	5. Chapter 5

As they entered the war room, Sam was already at the table with 2 open boxes of pizza. Dean and Cas grabbed the seats across from him, as Sam looked at them with a smirk on his face.  
"Shut up" Dean said, not even looking at Sam. He slid a box of pizza toward himself and set a couple pieces onto his plate.  
"I didnt say a word" Sam replied, still smirking.  
Dean just shook his head, and dug into his pizza.  
"We werent having intercourse Sam, if that's what you think." Cas said, taking his own slice of the pie and picking at it. He didnt eat, but liked to join the brothers while they did. It made him feel more normal.  
Dean let off a low grumble, side eyeing Cas.  
"What? I was just clarifying for him. If he thought that's what we were doing, I wanted to make it clear we werent" Cas said, not understanding at all why Dean was upset.  
"Its fine Cas, just leave it" Dean said, taking another bite.  
"Its alright Cas, hes just pissed because he doesn't like me to know certain things about his personal affairs. But let's face it Dean, I already knew. Ive known for years, I've just been waiting for you guys to pull your heads out of your asses and do something about it." Sam took a small bite of his pizza.  
Dean looked over at him and, realizing he was eating a vegetarian pie, said "ugh Sam really? Rabbit food on a pizza? Ridiculous."  
Sam just shook his head and continued eating.  
They all ate in silence for several minutes, before Cas said "Dean I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."  
"Really Cas, it's fine. Let's just eat." Dean responded.  
Dean, in silence, ate the rest of his two pieces and grabbed two more. He was stuck in his head, the thoughts of what he and Cas had done swirling around.  
He didnt realize how much time had passed in silence, when Cas suddenly stood up. "I'm going to wash my plate" he said, giving Sam a look that said 'talk to him please'. Then he grabbed his plate and left the room.  
Sam and Dean sat there in silence for another moment, before Sam said "Dean, I'm sorry. I'm just really happy about this. I know you dont understand why yet, but if you'd spent the last eleven years watching your brother and your best friend pine for each other, then finally do something about it, you'd get it. Just... Dont ruin this. Cas has been very patient, and hes put up with a lot from you. You can be a dick, and you push people away for no good reason as soon as they try to get close. Dont do that to Cas. Just accept that you can be happy, and roll with it. That's the end of my speech, and I wont say any more about it unless you ask."  
Dean sat there contemplating what Sam had said. He knew he did that, he just didnt realize Sam knew. But of course he did, Sam was an expert on all things Dean.  
"I wont mess it up. At least, I hope I wont. I cant. I cant lose him again." Dean shoved the last piece of crust into his mouth.  
Sam nodded, and turned back to his pizza.  
Dean stood up wordlessly and grabbed his plate. He turned and walked toward the hall.  
As he entered the kitchen, he saw Cas just standing at the sink with the water running, his hands resting on the sink's edge.  
Cas heard him approaching, and started to wash the dish.  
Dean sidled up behind Cas, getting very close before he leaned around him and set his plate next to the sink.  
As Cas grabbed his plate to wash, Dean mumbled a "thanks". He stood there just staring at the back of Cas' head, wondering what he was thinking.  
Dean closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. He opened them, then leaned his body so it was flush against Cas' back.  
Cas didnt say a word, just continued to wash. By now the dishes were both clean, but he didnt want to move. He was enjoying the closeness.  
Dean placed his hands on Cas' hips, pulling him even closer to his body. He felt Cas shiver against him.  
"Dean, I didnt want to upset you. I'm sorry" he said, turning off the water.  
"Shh" was Dean's response. He then leaned his head down until his lips were against Cas' neck. He felt him shiver again as he pressed a light kiss there.  
Dean continued to press kisses to the exposed areas of Cas' neck and jaw line, getting rougher as he went. Sticking his tongue out, he licked a strip from his neck to his jaw, making Cas quietly groan.  
Cas attempted to turn around, but Dean griped him tight keeping him in place.  
Dean started to move his hands in small circles on Cas' hips, lifting his shirt up a bit to get to more skin. Cas leaned into the touch, feeling himself growing hard in his pants. He could feel Dean's hardness pressing against his ass, and pushed his ass back against it.  
Dean let out an involuntary moan, before he gripped Cas' hips again, holding him in place.  
Dean moved his head to the other side of Cas' neck, giving some attention to that side with small licks and nibbles.  
Cas was enjoying it, but he wanted more. He wanted to feel all of Dean. When Cas tried to move his hands, Dean pressed against him hard enough to shove his even more hardening member against the edge of the sink. With that, Cas moaned louder, dropping his head to the side to give Dean more access, shivers consuming his body.  
Dean found the sensitive space where Cas' neck met his shoulder, and he bit down hard, grabbing Cas' hips and pulling him against him at the same time.  
Suddenly Cas whipped around, grabbing Dean and shoving him into the closest wall. He grabbed Dean's wrists, holding them above his head.  
Cas' eyes started to glow with a bright white-blue light.  
Dean's eyes got big, startled.  
"I am an angel of the lord, Dean. You underestimate my strength, and over estimate my patience" he growled.  
Dean could feel his length straining against his jeans, growing even harder from the words.  
Cas leaned in, pressing his body flush against Dean's. He put his face against Deans ear, whispering "dont forget again" and bit down on Dean's earlobe.  
Dean felt himself shiver, but unable to move his body.  
Cas pulled his head back, looking into Dean's lust blown eyes. He smiled a little, then roughly crashed his lips to Deans, rolling his hips so that his hard cock rubbed against Dean's. Dean moaned loudly, attempting to move to gain more friction. Cas stopped moving, holding Dean's body in place.  
Cas darted his tongue out, running it along Dean's bottom lip, before shoving it into his mouth. Dean opened his mouth willingly, letting Cas' tongue explore.  
Cas moved his hands, so his left hand was holding both of Dean's wrists above his head. He slid his right hand over Dean's chest, down to the hem of his shirt, teasing at the edge of Dean's pants. Then he slipped his hand up underneath Dean's shirt, rubbing against his bare stomach and chest, as he continued his assault on Dean's mouth.  
Dean attempted to pull his hands out of Cas' grasp, wanting to touch him badly, but Cas just gripped tighter.  
Taking his hand out from underneath Dean's shirt, he slid it downwards, pressing his palm against the hard line in Dean's pants. Dean thrust his hips forward, desperate for the friction.  
Cas palmed Dean's hard on, moving his lips to Dean's neck, allowing Dean a few desperate breaths.  
"Cas" Dean gasped.  
As Cas continued to rub Dean's shaft through his pants, he moved his mouth down, finding there wasnt nearly enough skin for his mouth to explore. He then grabbed Dean's tshirt with his teeth, and pulled until it ripped all the way down, exposing every inch of Dean's torso.  
Satisfied with that, Cas' mouth made it's way down Dean's neck to his chest. Tracing the hard lines with his tongue, Cas could feel Dean becoming increasingly desperate against him.  
Maybe now he wouldnt forget what Cas was capable of.  
As Dean shuddered at Cas' mouth exploring him, he could barely get a coherent thought in his head. 'Cas... more... fuck... good... more... ngh...' was all he could think.  
Cas pressed his body back against Dean's, bringing their lips back together. He started to rub his hard length against Dean's leg as he continued to rub Dean through his pants.  
Dean pulled his face back a little, desperate to catch a breath.  
"Cas... if you dont... stop im... going to... come..." Dean got out between breaths.  
Dean looked into Cas' eyes and saw a glint there. Cas crashed his mouth back to Dean's, not letting up on his rubbing.  
Dean started to thrust his hips, knowing Cas wasnt going to stop, so he might as well embrace it.  
Cas felt more friction against his throbbing cock as Dean moved against him, and he moaned into Dean's mouth. That sent Dean almost over the edge, as he tried desperately to hold back his orgasm.  
Once again Dean tried to pull his hands away, but was unable to as Cas gripped even tighter. He was sure it was going to bruise and he didnt even care.  
Dean rolled his hips as much as he was able to, with the small amount of space Cas was allowing him to move.  
Cas moved his mouth off of Dean's, pressing kisses along his face until he got to his ear.  
"Come for me Dean" he whispered. That deep, sex filled voice sending more shivers down Dean's body.  
He couldn't hold it back anymore. Dean let himself go, feeling his orgasm rip through his body, shuddering and moaning Cas' name.  
Cas felt Dean's pants getting wet against his palm, and continued rubbing until he could feel Dean's body relax, signaling he was finished.  
Cas didn't move for several seconds, breathing hard with his face pressed against Dean's neck.  
Cas pulled his head back, looking into Dean's eyes. He was a little concerned he may have crossed the boundary Dean had set.  
Dean stared at Cas for second, before a smile broke out on his face. Cas felt his worry evaporate.  
"Well, that was something" Dean said. "Umm Cas, do you you think I could have my hands back now?"  
Cas looked up, realizing he was still holding Dean's wrists against the wall "oh, yeah sorry."  
"No reason to be sorry. That was... really amazing." He said.  
Cas let go of Dean's wrists, moving back slightly to give Dean a little space.  
Dean reached out and grabbed Cas' arm. "But you havent been taken care of yet" he said.  
Cas smiled "that's okay Dean. This time was for you."  
Dean slowly let go. He felt a bit guilty, but promised himself he'd get Cas back.  
"I havent... you know... in my pants since I was a teenager... I think I need a shower" Dean said, looking at Cas' face and laughing.  
Cas smiled "yeah, that probably wouldn't be a bad idea."  
Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas, before turning and walking out of the kitchen toward his bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

As Dean collected his clothes from his room, and proceeded on to the shower room to get cleaned up, Cas stood in the kitchen for short while thinking about what just happened. He was very happy, but that worried feeling kept nagging a hole in his stomach.  
After a bit, Cas walked the opposite way of Dean, to join Sam once again.  
As he walked in and sat down in his previously occupied chair, Sam looked up with a questioning look.  
"How did your talk go?" He asked.  
Cas looked down at the books still strewn out in front of him. "We really didnt talk. We-"  
"I dont need the gruesome details Cas" Sam interrupted, shaking his head, but with a slight glint in his eyes. "I am here if you need me for emotional support though. Dean can be closed off, so if you need to talk about something, I'm happy to listen."  
Cas absentmindedly flipped the pages of the open book in front of him.  
"What is it?" Sam asked, knowing full well by the look on Cas' face there was something wrong.  
Cas shook his head. "Its nothing."  
"Dont give me that crap Cas. I've know you a long time, you think I dont know when something's up with you? Spill it." Sam said. "If you're worried I'll run and tell Dean whatever it is, I wont. Whatever is said between us is between us."  
Cas looked up into Sam's face, contemplating for a moment. He knew he could trust Sam. "I'm just worried. About Dean."  
At this point, Dean had finished his shower and was about to walk into the war room when he overheard them talking. He stopped, just out of eyeshot, when he heard Cas say the word 'worried'.  
"What about?" Sam asked.  
Cas sighed. "I'm worried about when his freak out is going to happen. I know that it will, I just dont know when or to what extent it will be. Hes always been very careful of having feelings, and never for a man. Though I'm not actually a man, my vessel is, and I'm not sure how much that is going to bother him."  
Out of sight, Dean's heart rate started to increase. Cas was worried he was going to have a melt down. Shit.  
"So what are you going to do?" Sam asked, concern coloring his voice.  
"Nothing" Cas looked down again. "Theres nothing I can do, except wait for it. I'm not going to leave, or give this up, out of fear."  
Cas looked up at Sam again. "I love him Sam. I have for a long time. I will stay by his side as long as he'll let me. But, I will have this fear until Dean realizes what's happening and, figuratively speaking, all hell breaks loose."  
Dean's breath quickened, and he felt like his heart was going to pound out of his chest. Cas said he loved him. Hed never said that. Well, there was that one time when he was dying, but he'd directed it at everybody including Sam and mom.  
At this point Dean was pretty sure he was about to have a full blown panic attack. Love? Fuck. Love. Do i even really know the meaning of that word when it comes to relationships? Dean thought to himself. Does Cas even know what hes saying?  
"I can see why you'd be worried" Sam said. "But let's try to give him the benefit of the doubt. It seems like he's been good so far."  
"Its been a few hours, Sam. I dont think that's sufficient time for him to realize what we're doing" Cas replied.  
Once again Cas looked down and flipped a few more pages. "But it doesnt matter. I will be here until he tells me to leave." Cas closed his eyes for a moment, before looking up. "I wont give this up, if I have any say in it."  
Around the corner, Dean attempted to get his breathing under control. 'Its fine. Everything's fine" he kept chanting to himself.  
Realizing, if he didnt come out soon, that Cas would come looking for him and find him eavesdropping, Dean took one last calming breath and walked around the corner into the war room.  
Cas flicked his eyes toward the hallway, watching Dean as he emerged wearing a pair of blue and white plaid pajama pants, a tight grey t-shirt, and a pair of socks. He felt his cheeks get warm, and a small smile creep onto his face.  
"Hey what's going on? You guys gossiping?" Dean said, with a halfhearted laugh, his eyes landing on Cas' face.  
Sam turned around in his chair and looked at his brother "oh yeah, you know us, a couple of chicks" he said.  
Dean approached the table, walking around to Cas' side, and plopping down into the chair next to him. "So, you guys up for a movie? I need to do some unwinding" he said.  
Sam shrugged "sure, what the hell. My heads starting to hurt from all this research anyway."  
Dean looked at Cas. "What about you?"  
"Sure Dean, that sounds fine" Cas said, closing the book on the table.  
Dean reach over and pat Cas on the back, smiling. "Yes. Alright Sammy, go pick a movie, and I'll make some popcorn" Dean said jumping up out of his chair.  
Cas got up and followed Dean into the kitchen. Dean could still feel his heart beating fast, but tried his best to hide his nervousness.  
Cas, the perceptive angel that he was, picked up on it almost immediately. As Dean went to start the popcorn machine (a purchase he told Sammy was a necessity), Cas slowly walked up behind him.  
"What's wrong?" He asked, fearing the worst. Was it happening already?  
"Nothing man, I'm good." Dean responded.  
"Dean, you act like you've forgotten that I've known you for eleven years. I can tell when somethings wrong. What is it?" Cas stated.  
Dean slowly turned around. Looking into Cas' face, he started to feel even more nervous.  
"Please just tell me. I can handle whatever it is" Cas said.  
"I'm sorry Cas" was Dean's response.  
Cas' heart fell into his stomach. This was it. Dean was going to tell him that he couldnt do this. That it was too much. That he didnt think they could make it work.  
Cas steeled himself. "For what Dean?" He asked. He would hold strong, no matter what came out of Dean's mouth next.  
And what came out was not even close to what he expected.  
"I'm sorry that I'm such a shit person that you think I would do that to you." Dean said.  
"What are you talking about?" Cas was confused. Then he realized, Dean's timing was way too good coming into the war room. Had he overheard him? He must have. Cas' heart sped up.  
"Cas I'm not going to freak out. At least I dont think I'm going to. I'm damn sure gonna try my best." He rubbed the back of his own neck, a nervous habit. "I cant promise that I wont. This whole thing is new to me. Every single part of it. But I dont want to push you away anymore. You shouldn't have to feel like I will, and I'm sorry I've always been such an asshole to you that you think I'd do that." Dean said, trying to look anywhere but at Cas now.  
"You were eavesdropping" Cas responded. It wasnt a question.  
Dean looked into Cas' face at that. He felt bad about listening in, but he couldnt help it. Obviously Cas wasnt going to tell him these things. "I didn't mean to at first. Why didnt you just tell me you were worried about this?"  
Cas contemplated that question for a minute. He took a deep breath and said "I didnt want to make it happen sooner than it would naturally. If I brought it up, it might send you down that road, and I just wasnt ready for that yet."  
"Cas-"  
"And you're not a 'shit person' as you put it. You dont have to be a bad person to panic about something new. It's a natural human reaction. But with who you are, that kind of panic could end this. I know you Dean. Its felt inevitable since the second you kissed me" Cas said. That was it, it was out there and he couldnt take it back.  
Dean just stood there for a minute, digesting everything Cas had said. His heart was beating so hard he was sure Cas could hear it. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them he looked into the depths of Cas' blue eyes. "Did you mean what you said?"  
"You're going to have to be more specific Dean" Cas responded.  
"What you told Sammy. About how you feel about me. Was that true?" Dean asked.  
Realization hit Cas. When he'd figured out Dean had overheard them, he didnt even think about the fact that he'd said he loved him.  
Cas looked right back into Dean's eyes. "Everything I said to Sam was true. But please, dont freak out about it. I know how you feel about that word, and it's not something I want to push on you right now."  
Dean reached his right hand forward and placed it on the back of Cas' neck. Then he slowly leaned forward and pressed his lips to Cas'. Each time they'd done this, a shot of electricity had raced through Dean's entire body, and this time was no different. He snaked his left hand around Cas's waist and pulled him flush against himself. He felt Cas relax and lean into it. Dean gently pressed his tongue against Cas' lips, and Cas willingly opened his mouth to accept it.  
Cas wound his right hand up into Dean's hair, and used his left to pull Dean's body even closer to his own.  
After several minutes of this sweet intense kiss, Dean slowly pulled back. Cas sighed with his eyes closed, as Dean rested his head in the crook of Cas' neck.  
"Cas, I cant... I'm not... I'm not ready for those words yet, I'm sorry" he whispered.  
"I know Dean. That's why I didnt say them to you. You werent supposed to hear them, I'm sorry." Cas lightly stroked Dean's back.  
"Dont be sorry Cas. I'm glad I heard it. I'm glad to know how you feel. I just cant yet." Dean responded.  
"Whenever you're ready, I'll be here Dean" Cas said.  
After another minute, Dean pulled away. "I better get this popcorn going" he said, as he turned towards the counter.  
After Dean filled the machine up, he turned around and looked back at Cas. "You arent going to wear that while we watch the tube, are you? That's not very comfortable."  
Cas looked down at himself, then back up at Dean. "This is what I always wear. It's all I have. Plus, this is your shirt."  
"Well we'll just have to change that. Come on." Dean said smiling, then he walked towards the hallway to his room.


	7. Chapter 7

Cas followed Dean to his room. When he got there, Dean was already rifling through his drawers.  
Pulling out a couple of items, Dean turned around and tossed them to Cas. "Put these on."  
Cas caught the clothes and looked at them. It was another pair of plaid pajama pants, these ones black and white, and a black t-shit.  
Cas set them down on the end of Dean's bed, and started to take off his shirt. As he pulled it off, he looked over at Dean and saw him staring.  
"What?" Cas asked, a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks.  
Dean didn't say anything, and slowly walked over until he was standing directly in front of Cas. Cas noticed a glint of something in Dean's eyes as he reached his hand out and laid it on Cas' bare chest, which sent an immediate shiver through Cas' whole body.  
Dean moved his hand slowly, caressing Cas' chest. Cas closes his eyes, his breath quickening with every second. With his eyes still closed, he could feel Dean inching closer, until he felt his breath tickling his face. When he opened his eyes, his entire vision was filled with Dean's face. A face full of complete admiration and desire.   
As Dean leaned closer, Cas could taste his sweet breath, a mix of whiskey and pizza and something that was just Dean.  
"What the hell Dean?!" They heard a shout from down the hall.  
Jumping apart, Dean swore under his breath. "Shit, forgot about the damn popcorn." Dean shook his head, pulling himself out of the almost trance-like state he had been in.  
"What're you doing to me, Cas?" He laughed, turning towards the door. "Get dressed and I'll meet you in the TV room." Then he was gone, closing the door behind him.  
Dean rushed to the kitchen, where he found Sam dumping out the popcorn machine, the smell of burnt popcorn filling his nose.  
Sam turned and looked at him, a mix of anger and amusement on his face. "Got it bad, dont you?" Sam asked.  
"Sorry man, I was just getting Cas some clothes and forgot." Dean replied.  
"Mhmm" Sam mumbled, as he finished cleaning the machine. "I'll do this, you just go get the movie started. It's already on the TV."  
"Alright. Sorry." Dean stated, then turned back into the hallway. He walked down it, turning corners, until he reached the room he'd made into their sudo livingroom. It had a big flat screen TV on a stand on the left wall, a long couch along the right wall, and a soft recliner straight ahead facing the TV. Dean grabbed the remote, and sat on the far end of the couch, closer to the chair.  
"Harry Potter, again?!" He mumbled to himself, looking at the TV. "That's what I get for telling Sammy to pick. I'm an idiot."  
"What's wrong, Dean?" he heard. He looked over to find Cas standing in the doorway, wearing the clothes hed given him.  
There was something about Cas wearing his clothes that stopped his breath in his throat.  
"Dean?" Cas asked again.   
Dean shook himself mentally. "What? Oh, I was just complaining about the movie Sam picked."  
Cas walked a little further into the room, and turned to look at the TV. "Harry Potter? We watched some of these, didn't we?" He asked.  
"Yeah, but theres like a million. And Sam is hell bent on making me watch them all" Dean stated.  
"I find I quite enjoyed them. The way humans perceive magic is quite entertaining to me" Cas smiled, sitting down on the other end of the couch.   
"Yeah Dean, Cas likes them. And I like them. So just deal. And theres only 8, not a million." Sam said, as he came into the room holding 2 bowls of popcorn, unburnt.  
"Whatever. Just sit down" Dean grumbled, grabbing a bowl from Sam and setting it in between he and Cas.  
Sam sat down in the chair, kicking out the recliner, and pulling the blanket from the back of the chair over himself. "Ready" he said.  
Dean hit play on the remote, and the intro music started playing. Dean cast a sideways glance at Cas, sitting straight on the couch, legs down to the floor, looking so not relaxed.  
"Cas, relax a little" Dean whispered, leaning closer to him. He already knew if he made too much noise hed get hell from Sam.  
Cas looked down at himself. "I'm fine" he said, matter of factly.  
Dean laughed, and scooted closer, moving the bowl of popcorn to the other side of him.  
"At least slouch a little" Dean snickered.  
Cas adjusted himself until he was, in Dean's opinion, in a more comfortable position. Feet tucked under him, and leaning against the arm of the couch.  
"That's better, isnt it?" Dean asked.  
"Shhhh its starting!" Sam loudly whispered.  
Grumbling under his breath about how Sam had already seen them all 20 times, Dean turned back to the TV to watch.  
Throughout the movie, Dean found himself adjusting his position slowly, until he was sitting right next to Cas, almost sitting on his feet. Everytime he snuck a look at him, Cas was so engrossed in the movie Dean didnt think he even noticed.  
Before Dean knew it, the movie was over. He remembered bits and pieces of it, but he was so caught up in his own thoughts he really didnt pay too much attention. Dean hit the remote so the movie stopped, and looked over at Sam in the chair, who was slumped down with his feet up. He was sound asleep. Dean looked the other way at Cas "guess hes wiped out. I thought hed want to watch the next one."  
"I'd like to watch it" Cas said. "Unless you're tired. I can watch it by myself."  
"Nah I'm good. I should be tired, but I'm not at all" Dean replied.  
They heard Sam stirring. "Whyd you turn it off?" He asked.  
Dean laughed. "You were sleeping dumbass, its over. You wanna watch another one?"  
"Nah, I think I'm gonna hit they hay" Sam replied, getting up out of the chair. As he walked by the couch, he looked at Dean and Cas for the first time, noticing Dean crowded into Cas' space. He smirked, then continued out of the room, shaking his head.  
Dean turned to Cas "So, another one?"  
"Yes that would be nice" Cas replied.  
Dean pulled up the next movie and hit play. He felt Cas moving around a little. "You okay?" He asked.  
"Yes. I was comfortable but realized I've been sitting like this for too long and my foot feels funny." Cas said, wiggling his foot.  
Dean laughed "its asleep."  
"Dean I dont think body parts can slumber" Cas responded.  
Dean chuckled a little more "it's a figure of speech. The circulation is cut off some. You just need to put it in another position. Here" Dean said, taking Cas' right leg and stretching it behind his back along the couch. He felt Cas wiggle his toes.  
"That's better, thanks" Cas said.  
Dean settled back against Cas' leg. He was suddenly nervous, though he wasnt sure why, as hed been fine through the entire last movie. He was now extremely aware of every point on his body that was touching some part of Cas.  
It must be because Sam isnt in here anymore, he thought to himself.  
Before he knew what he was doing, he reached his left hand over, resting it on Cas' left leg, which was still tucked underneath him.  
Cas felt Deans hand on him, and his heartbeat suddenly quickened. This was unusual, having no control over his bodily functions. He chanced a quick glance at the side of Deans face, but Dean just looked like he was really into the movie. Then Cas felt Dean's thumb move, slowly caressing his leg, though Dean still didnt look away from the TV.  
Cas adjusted himself so he was sitting more sideways, opening his legs a bit more and dropping his left leg off the couch onto the floor.  
Dean took notice of this, and looked over as Cas with a question on his face.  
"You look uncomfortable Dean. You should relax a little" he said, smiling, throwing Dean's words back at him.  
Dean scooted even closer to Cas until he was between his legs. He leaned over, resting his torso and head on Cas' chest.  
Cas moved his right arm so it was resting on Dean's shoulder.  
"Better?" Dean asked, with a smile in his voice.  
"I'm comfortable" Cas replied.  
Cas knew his heart was beating very hard, and he knew Dean could hear it as his ear was pressed right up against it. But he didn't care. This was amazing. This feeling of closeness that hed wanted from Dean for so long, he was finally getting it.  
Cas sighed, and moved his right hand into Dean's hair, slowly running his fingers through it.  
Dean took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. It had been so very long since anybody had been this loving with him. In fact, he couldnt remember a time when anybody had done this for him. He could hear Cas' heartbeat in his ear, hard and quick at first, but as time slowly ticked by it settled down to a normal pace.  
Dean couldn't keep his eyes open. He didnt think he was tired, but being this comfortable made him sink into sleep.  
Cas could hear Deans breathing even out. "Dean?" He whispered. He knew he was asleep. Cas leaned his head down and pressed a kiss to the top of Dean's head.


	8. Chapter 8

Several hours later, Dean opened his eyes. It was fairly dark but he knew he wasnt in his room, and he could feel someone breathing beneath him.  
Raising his head slowly, he looked up, straight into Cas' face.  
"Hey, did I wake you? I'm sorry, I tried not to move too much" he said.  
Dean just blinked a couple of times before shaking his head. "You didn't. I fell asleep?"  
Cas chuckled "yeah, pretty quickly really."  
"How long was I out?" Dean asked.  
"Well it's probably been a couple hours since the movie ended. So maybe 4 or 5 hours?" Cas said.  
"I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you. You didn't move that whole time? Dean asked, starting to pull himself up off of Cas.  
Cas grabbed ahold of Dean, keeping him in place. "I didn't mind."  
He looked into Cas' eyes and saw the earnestness there. Suddenly Dean was very aware of Cas underneath him, and something hard poking into his side. "Oh."  
Cas blushed a bit in the almost darkness. "Sorry Dean. It just happened, I couldn't control it" he said.  
Dean looked again into Cas' face, and, unable to control himself, he leaned up and pressed his lips to Cas'.  
Cas felt like his whole body was on fire, every single place that was touching Dean, as Dean's lips crashed into his. Cas made a startled noise into Dean's mouth, before he moved his hand up to the back of Dean's head, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.  
Dean adjusted himself, crawling up onto his knees to get a better angle, but never letting his lips leave Cas'.  
Cas pushed his tongue past Dean's lips into his mouth, exploring every inch of it. He could feel his heart rate pick up again as Dean's body pressed his down into the couch.  
Dean removed his lips from Cas', eliciting a slight whimper noise from Cas' throat at the loss of contact, before Dean moved along Cas' jawline to his neck. He began to kiss and nibble along Cas' neck, sucking small marks into the most sensitive areas.  
Cas held onto the back of Dean's head, throwing his own head back to give Dean more access. He could feel his already partially hard member, growing harder by the second, pressing into Dean.  
As Deen suckled on Cas' neck, he moved his right hand to the bottom of Cas' shirt.  
"Wearing my clothes, Cas. Does something to me" Dean breathed out between kisses, as he slowly moved his hand inside of Cas' shirt.  
As his hand inched up to Cas' chest, he felt Cas move beneath him, trying to gain some sort of friction. Dean adjusted himself so his right thigh was pressed directly between Cas' legs.  
He felt, more than heard, Cas moan at that movement. Dean pulled his hand out from under Cas' shirt, and gripped the bottom of it, quickly pulling it up and over Cas' head.  
Cas willingly obliged this move, and, wanting to feel Dean's skin against his own again, he grabbed the back of Dean's shirt and ripped it completely down the back.  
Not even caring that yet another shirt was ruined in the same day, Dean quickly discarded the pieces to the floor, and pressed his chest against Cas', returning their lips together.  
Cas couldnt get enough. He shoved his tongue into Dean's mouth again, pulling his body against his own as close as he could get. It still wasn't enough, he wanted more.  
Dean moved his right hand down along Cas' side until he reached the line of his pants, squeezing his hand between them until he felt the bulge against him.  
Dean pressed down with his hand, rubbing against Cas' hard member, which drew another moan from Cas' throat.  
Dean once again moved his lips from Cas', down to his neck, sucking more small marks as he went. He didn't stop at the neck this time, having access to a whole expanse of beautifully naked skin beneath him. Dean kissed along Cas' collarbone, down to his chest, stopping to suckle on his nipple. As Dean flicked his tongue out over the hard nub, he felt Cas buck beneath him, pressing his cock harder into Dean's hand.  
Dean pulled back a bit, lifting his body off of Cas slightly. Looking straight into Cas' eyes, Dean moved his hand once again to the top of Cas' pants, but he didnt stop there this time. He slowly moved his hand under the elastic waist of his pants and boxers. He could feel Cas' rough hairs as his hand inched closer to its destination.  
"Dean-" Cas managed to get out, trying to catch his breath. "You dont-"  
Dean pressed his mouth to Cas' again, interrupting him.  
Cas wanted this so much, but Dean had set up boundaries. Boundaries that they were about to cross.  
With all the willpower he had, Cas managed to break the kiss and pull back enough to look into Dean's eyes. "Dean, you said-".  
"I know Cas. I know. I want to. Please."  
Cas could see the honesty in Dean's face. The pure, unfiltered truth.  
Dean wanted to do this, and he wanted to do it before he got scared, or lost his nerve.  
Cas reached behind Dean's head again and crushed their lips together.  
Dean's hand continued down, now only centimeters from the off limits zone.  
Cas had grown so hard at the anticipation, it was becoming painful, until Dean finally grazed it. A loud moan escaped Cas' throat, right into Dean's mouth. This noise is what drove away any worries Dean might've had, as he grab ahold of the base of Cas' cock.  
The feeling of pure pleasure that traveled through Cas' body at Dean's touch was completely new to him. He unintentionally bucked his hips up, throwing his head back.  
Dean tightened his grip around Cas' member, running his fist from base to tip and back again as Cas moaned his name.  
Leaning his head up, Cas placed kisses onto Dean's neck, anywhere that he could reach, wrapping his arms around Dean's torso. He bit down into Dean's neck, suckling on the tender spot where his neck met his shoulder.  
Dean could feel Cas' hands digging into his back as he slowly stroked Cas beneath his pants, squeezing and loosening his hand at at the right times. He could do this, it wasnt much different than doing it to himself. Except it was so much better. Feeling Cas come undone beneath him was probably the biggest turn on hed ever had.  
Cas started to move his hips in time with Dean's hand, moving his own hands down Dean's back onto his ass. Cas gripped him, and pulled him against himself, feeling Dean's own hard cock rub against his right leg.  
Dean moaned loudly, bringing his face back to Cas' and pressing his lips to his, moving his own hips in time with his hand now.  
The friction was incredible. Feeling Cas' hard body beneath his own, the noises Cas was making into his mouth, as he unmercifully stroked Cas faster. Dean bit down on Cas' bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth, then pushing his tongue back into Cas' mouth.  
Cas didn't know how much longer he would last. The feeling Dean was giving him, his body pressed against him, his hard cock rubbing against his leg, and his hand wrapped around his cock moving at a quick pace, it was all too much.  
"Dean-" Cas panted between kisses. "I dont-" kiss " cant last-" kiss.  
Dean pulled his head back a millimeter, looking straight into Cas' eyes. "Come for me Cas" then he crushed his lips back into Cas'.  
With those words, Cas let it all go. Every inhibition he had. Everything hed been holding back. He felt a pull low in his stomach, and then the most amazing thing hed ever felt was coursing through his entire body. Waves of pleasure washed over him. He let off the most intense moan Dean had ever heard, into Dean mouth, as Dean continued to kiss him and stroke him until Cas' entire body was spent.  
Slowly, Dean pulled his hand out of Cas' pants, as he looked down into Cas' face. Dean wiped his hand on the side of his pants, and pressed his forehead against Cas', staring into his eyes.  
They stayed like that for a while, looking into each others eyes, trying to catch their breaths.  
Dean moved his face down, pressing one more soft kiss to Cas' lips, before sitting back onto his knees.  
Looking down into Cas' face and seeing the exhausted joy behind his eyes, Dean smiled. "You're amazing."  
Cas let off a small laugh "I didnt do anything this time." He moved his hands until they were resting on Dean's hips. Rubbing his thumbs along the waistband of his pants, Cas looked down, noticing Dean's still hard cock. "Oh. I'm sorry, I didnt even think."  
Dean shook his head and laughed a little. "Nah, this one was for you. You're exhausted. We can continue this another time."  
"But you're still-" Cas started.  
Dean cut him off. "Really man, I'm good, I promise. When you're not completely spent."  
Dean couldnt ever remember a time where he didnt mind not getting off. But right now, staring down at Cas' form, he really didn't. He felt amazing just from getting Cas off. He also felt something deep in his chest, something hed never felt before. A strong pulling feeling. And as Cas stared up into his eyes, what could only be described as butterflies started to dance around his stomach.  
Dean closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them Cas had a worried expression on his face. "What's wrong?"  
Dean shook his head. "Nothing all. Everything's great." He said.  
"Your face changed. What happened?" Cas started to sit up.  
Dean placed his hand on Cas' chest to keep him from moving. He smiled. "Nothing happened Cas. Nothing bad at least. I'm just... I'm just happy. I dont know man. I'm not good with these things. But seeing you there, seeing the pleasure I gave you. It just makes me happy."  
"Oh" Cas didnt know what to say to that, so he wound his fingers around Dean's hand and gently pulled until Dean was once again laying on top of him.  
"I want nothing more than I want for you to be happy" Cas whispered, then brought his face to Dean's once again, softly pressing their lips together.  
The slow, sensual kiss didnt last long, but it was one if the most intense things Dean had ever felt. He felt, deep in his gut, the words Cas had said. It was him telling Dean he loved him, without actually saying the words. This caused Dean's heartrate to increase, and a slight panic began to creep into his chest.  
Dean pulled back, putting on a smile for Cas. "I should try to get a little more sleep."  
Cas nodded, releasing his hold on Dean. "It is quite late."  
Dean slowly moved, getting himself off of Cas and standing up, as Cas sat up on the couch.  
"I'll see you in the morning?" Cas said. It wasnt meant to be a question, but as it came out of his mouth it turned into one. Something happened in Dean's head, Cas could tell.  
"Yeah, of course." Dean replied.  
Smiling at Cas one last time, he said "goodnight" and hurried from the room, down the hall, and into his room, closing the door behind him.  
Dean leaned back against his door with his eyes closed, trying to get his breathing under control.  
What just happened? Everything was great, so why am I freaking out? Dean asked himself.  
He knew what it was though. The love in Cas' eyes, in the words he had said. They scared Dean. He knew how Cas felt, but seeing it was almost too much for him.  
Attempting to calm himself, Dean opened his eyes and looked around his room.  
"Shit" he whispered to himself, noticing Cas's clothes neatly folded on the end of his bed. He realized Cas was gonna need to change, but had nothing to wear.  
Dean dug through his drawers again, pulling out a pair of sweatpants, a grey t-shirt, and a pair of boxer briefs.  
In an attempt to avoid more unwanted panic, Dean quickly but quietly took the clothes into Cas' room and set them on his bed, returning to his room just as quickly. He then turned the lights out and crawled into his bed under the covers. Laying there, he replayed everything that just happened in his head, until he finally drifted off into a fitful sleep.  
After Dean had left the room, Cas sat on the couch for a while wondering what went wrong. He knew something was wrong, the way Dean had rushed to get away from him. Maybe they had gone too far. Cas had tried to stop it, but with Dean he only had so much willpower.  
But Dean was fine until the end. Cas couldnt understand what happened to make Dean freak out.  
The longer Cas sat there, the more uncomfortable he got, with the wetness in his pants. He knew he'd left his clothes in Dean's room, but he didnt want to go in there, especially while Dean was like this.  
Cas decided to just go to his room, and hopefully make it through the next few hours until Dean got up and he could get his clothes.  
Cas picked up his discarded shirt, and Dean's ruined one, and left the livingroom.  
As Cas entered his room and flipped the light on, he noticed something on his bed. Walking over, he set the shirts on his bed, and picked it up. It was clothes. Dean's clothes.  
Cas' stomach flipped. Even freaking out, Dean still thought about his comfort and brought him clean clothes.  
Cas figured hed better shower before putting them on, so he took them down to the shower room.  
Afterwards, Cas made his way back to the livingroom.  
Might as well watch something, he thought to himself. He sat down on the couch. Flipping through movies until he saw one one that looked mildly interesting, he adjusted himself into a more comfortable position, settling in for a long night of worry.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean woke up with a start, out of an awful dream. He didn't remember much, just Cas walking away and the feeling of complete dispair that came with it.  
Sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Dean looked at the clock. It had only been about 2 hours since he fell asleep, but after that dream he didnt think he could sleep anymore.  
He got up, making a stop in the bathroom, before heading to the kitchen to make some much needed coffee.  
As he got closer, he could smell fresh brewed coffee. Sam must be up already, he thought to himself.  
As he entered the kitchen, he look around for Sam, but instead found Cas, head down on the table, a steaming cup in front of him.  
"Cas?" He asked.  
Cas' head snapped up. "Oh, Dean. You're up already?"  
"Yeah, couldnt sleep. What are you doing?" Dean asked.  
Cas shrugged. "Didnt really want to watch TV anymore, so I came in here. Thought I'd make something hot to drink. There's more if you want some." He said, as he waved towards the coffee maker.  
"Yeah, thanks" Dean responded, grabbing a mug and filling it with the hot liquid.  
Dean took his cup, and walked over to the table, sitting down across from Cas.  
"What's wrong?" Dean asked, taking note of the worried look on Cas' face.  
Cas just shook his head.  
"Come on man, tell me what's up. Please?" Dean asked again.  
Cas took a deep breath and sighed. Fingers playing with the mug in front of him, Cas steeled himself with the nerve to ask Dean what hed been wondering all night.  
"What happened last night?" He asked.  
Dean furrowed his brow. "You dont remember? We kissed, then one thing led to another, and-"  
"No, Dean, not that. I remember that very well. What happened afterward? You rushed away from me so fast. We went too far, didn't we? I knew I should've stopped you. I tried, but you seemed determined, like you really wanted to. I'm sorry." Cas said this all very fast, trying to get it out before he lost his nerve.  
Dean shook his head. "Cas, stop."  
Cas looked up from his mug, into Dean's eyes.  
Dean sighed. He needed to not keep things from Cas if this was ever going to work.  
"It isn't what we did Cas. That... That was amazing. I enjoyed every second of it. Its just... Afterward, when you looked at me the way you did, and said the things you said. I just kind of freaked out a little. I promised you I would try not to, and I'm doing my best, but sometimes it creeps in and it scares me."  
"Is it because my vessel is male?" Cas asked, finally getting to the root of his worry.  
Dean shook his head. "No, its not. Honestly, I'm surprised at how much that's not been a problem. I find you extremely sexy, and it's hard for me to keep my hands off of you. It's just, when it comes to feelings. Man, I suck at them."  
"I know that Dean. I'm trying not to push any feelings onto you, and I'm sorry if I did. Cas said.  
Dean reached across the table and took ahold of Cas' hand. "You dont have to be sorry. None of this is your fault. It's my problem, my hang ups. It's something I'm gonna have to work through. But please, dont give up on me."  
"I've never given up on you, Dean. Why would I start now?" Cas asked, smiling a little.  
In that moment, Dean wanted nothing more than to leap over that table, and kiss Cas until neither of them could breath. Unfortunately, he heard a noise behind him, and turned around, releasing Cas' hand, to see Sam coming into the room.  
"Whys everybody up so early?" Sam asked.  
"I don't sleep, you know that" Cas responded.  
"Yeah Cas I know. I meant why is Dean up so early. We dont have a case, so normally hed be sleeping in." Sam said.  
"Just couldnt sleep. And not all of us go to bed as early as an old man, like you. Couldnt even make it through a movie" Dean responded.  
Sam shook his head, and poured himself a cup of coffee. "Whatever. I have a lot of research to do, if anybody feels like helping."  
Dean rolled his eyes, turning back to Cas. Cas just shrugged. "Sure Sam, we'll help."  
"Damnit Cas, never offer to help do research, have I taught you nothing?" Dean asked, with overexaggerated exasperation.  
This made Cas laugh. "Okay, Sam I offer my help. But I cant speak for Dean."  
Dean gave Cas a look, then rolled his eyes again, shaking his head. "I guess I have to help, if Cas is. But be warned, I do this under protest."  
After they had breakfast, they all made their way into the library, where Sam had clearly already been this morning. Books were strewn about on all the tables.  
They discussed what they were looking for, and got to work.  
Cas sought out a table to work at, and Dean very pointedly took his books and sat down directly next to him to his left, while Sam sat at a table on the other end of the room.  
After what was probably hours of flipping through books, Dean casually slid his right hand under the table, and onto Cas' left knee.  
Cas looked up from his book, at Dean. But Dean, very pointedly, made no acknowledgement that he had done anything different, so Cas went back to his book, extremely aware of Dean's hand on him.  
Another bit of time passed before Dean slowly slid his hand up a little, so that it was resting on Cas' thigh now, still continuing to act like hed done nothing. So Cas played along, and made no move to show hed noticed the change.  
Once again, trying to focus on the task at hand, Cas felt Dean's hand slide up his leg, now resting it at the very top of his thigh. Cas breathed slowly, attempting to control the way his heart sped up. What was Dean doing? His brother was right across the room.  
Still not willing to let Dean win whatever game it was he was playing, Cas made no move but to turn the page of the book he was now not even reading. Every fiber of his being was now focused on that one point of contact. Dean's hand growing hotter against him, until it felt like it was on fire.  
Dean moved his thumb around, slowly rubbing a circle into Cas' thigh. It was becoming harder and harder to focus on what he was supposed to be doing, and he could feel his member start to grow just a little hard.  
After a couple of minutes of this torture, Dean started moving his whole hand, very slowly, back and forth on Cas thigh, moving it closer and closer to Cas' now rapidly growing cock with every stroke.  
Dean's pinky brushed against it first, and Cas, unable to control it, sucked in a quick breath, but gave no other reaction to the movement. He reached forward and turned another page.  
Cas chanced a sideways look at Dean, but he was still staring at the book in front of him, with a serious look of concentration on his face. He watched as Dean brought the index finger on his left hand up to his mouth, making a point to stick his tongue out and lick it, then use it to turn the page of his book. As he did this, he moved his right hand further up so the entire thing was covering Cas' crotch.  
Cas bit down on his bottom lip as Dean moved his hand, just a little at a time, over the large bulge that was now in his pants.  
"Dean-" Cas whispered.  
"Shhh, research" Dean whispered back, pointing to the book in front of himself.  
Cas looked back to his book, unable to concentrate at all. He felt Dean's hand, putting more pressure against his hardness, rubbing up and down slowly now, at a regular pace.  
Cas reached over and gripped the side of the table with his right hand, biting down on his lip harder. It was taking everything he had not to thrust his hips up into Dean's hand. Not to reach over and pull Dean into his lap, crushing their lips together.  
This went on for several minutes, Dean's hand adding more pressure as time went on, until Cas was sure he couldnt get any more turned on. Above the table, Dean continued to flip through the book as if nothing was happening, while Cas was pretty sure he was going to come undone any second.  
Suddenly, Dean withdrew his hand and stood up. "I need a drink. Anybody else? Cas?"  
Cas looked up at Dean, who was looking at him with a look of pure amusement on his face. "No, thank you" he said.  
"Sammy?" Dean looked at Sam.  
"Its only just now noon Dean" he responded.   
"Exactly. Its afternoon. Time for a drink." With that, Dean walked over to the drink cart and poured himself a hefty glass out of one of the decanters. Sam just shook his head and went back to work.  
Cas just sat there, the hard on in his pants pulsing with need. He watched Dean take a sip out of his glass, then turn sideways to look at Cas. As Cas could see, Dean was sporting a pretty heavy bulge himself.  
It was obvious Dean like teasing, whether it was giving or receiving it, it didn't seem to matter.  
Dean walked back over to his seat, setting his glass down and sitting down next to Cas again. He leaned over, getting close to Cas' ear, and whispered "you shouldn't volunteer to do research, have I taught you nothing?" He leaned back a bit, and winked.  
Cas was both a little annoyed, and a little impressed that Dean would use sexual teasing to get back at him for offering to help Sam.  
Cas shook his head, and turned back to the book in front of him. It was hard to concentrate now, all he could think about was Dean's hands on him.  
Flashes of last night kept running through his head. How Dean had fallen asleep in his arms. How he woke up and started kissing him. The way his hand had traveled down his body, into his pants. Cas shivered, remembering Dean's hand around him.  
Cas really needed to stop thinking these things, or the problem in his pants wasnt going to get any better.  
Or, he could use them to his advantage. If Dean wanted to tease, maybe Cas could do something back to him.  
Cas discreetly moved his left hand off the table, and set it on his own left thigh. He saw out of the corner of his eye that Dean's interest was piqued.  
Looking down at his book, Cas moved his hand toward his own crotch, stopping when his hand reached his hard member. Cas could feel his heart beating hard. He had no idea what he was doing, he was just going with it. He slowly started rubbing up and down, the way Dean had done, with his palm. It felt good. Not even close to when Dean did it, but it was still enjoyable.  
Cas could see Deans eyes widen in surprise. Cas smiled to himself, knowing Dean hadnt expected him to 'fight' back.  
After a couple more strokes, Cas slid his hand up and then down past the elastic of his sweatpants, reaching his hand down into his pants.  
Dean coughed a little, then adjusted himself in his seat so he was facing a little more towards Cas, but not a very noticable change.  
Cas wrapped his hand around his hard cock, sucking in a sharp breath, and gave himself a couple of test strokes. Hed never done this before, so he didnt know if he was doing it right. It felt good, though he wished it was Dean's hand and not his own.  
Cas could hear Dean's breath increasing, could feel his eyes on him as Dean didnt even pretend to be reading anymore.  
Cas stroked himself up and down several more times, his heart pounding in his ears. Thoughts of Dean's hands and mouth all over his body pushing him closer to the edge of where he wanted to be.  
Cas stopped. He didn't want to come, not here. He unfisted himself, and pulled his hand out of his pants, resting it on the table.  
With a side smirk at Dean, he turned the page of the book in front of him.  
They both looked over when Sam stood up. "I'm gonna get some lunch. You want some?" He asked Dean.  
Dean's stomach growled at the thought of food. "Yeah, thanks" he said. Sam nodded and walked out of the room.  
Dean turned to Cas again. "What the hell are you doing to me?"  
Cas continued to look down at his book. "You started it."  
"But-" Dean started.  
"Dont hand out what you cant take back, Dean." Cas said, trying to hide a full blown smile now.  
Dean all but growled in response, jumping out of his chair. He bent over Cas, grabbed the back of his neck, and smashed his lips onto on his. Forcing his tongue into Cas' mouth, he moaned as Cas wrapped his arms around him.  
Dean climbed into Cas' lap, straddling him as he deepened the kiss further, exploring every inch of Cas' mouth.  
Cas moved his hands down to Dean's ass, and pulled Dean harder down onto him.  
Dean let out another moan into Cas' mouth, as he felt their hard members rub together. "Fuck" he said, pulling his mouth away. Cas moved his mouth to Dean's neck, kissing and nibbling along it.  
Dean ground down again, desperate for more friction. Cas thrust his hips up, giving Dean what he wanted.  
Cas removed his lips from Dean's neck, panting. "Your brother will be back any minute" he breathed.  
"Damnit, I know. Fuck Cas, I dont know what's happening to me." Dean responded.  
Cas laughed, grabbing Dean's ass and thrusting his hips up again.  
Dean gasped. "You're making it very hard for me to move before Sam comes back."  
"That's the idea" Cas said, chuckling.  
"Damnit Cas" Dean said, before leaning his head down and kissing Cas one more time. After pulling back, he climbed out of Cas' lap and sat back in his own chair. His hard cock was throbbing with want, but he wasnt going to take Cas right here in the library, with Sam right around the corner.


	10. Chapter 10

Sam returned a few minutes later with 2 plates of food. He sat one down in front of Dean, and returned to his own table with his plate. Dean looked at it. Ham and cheese sandwich and chips. That was very unlike Sam, to not try to push some healthy crap on him.  
Dean looked over to Sam's table, where he saw he was eating a salad. So hed actually made this specifically for him. That was nice. Weird, but nice.  
Dean dug into his food, scarfing it down pretty quickly.  
"You're gonna choke if you eat any faster" Cas laughed.  
"Juss humfry, mm fne" Dean said, with a mouth full of food.  
Cas shook his head, and looked down at his completely forgotten book. Dean was so damn attractive, even with his mouth stuffed as full as it could get.  
Once Dean inhaled all of his food, he stood up. Cas looked up at him. "I need to stretch my legs. I think I'm gonna make a store run, get something to make for dinner." Dean said.  
Dean stared down at Cas, willing him to ask to come. All sorts of images in his head about an abandoned back road, and Cas in the backseat of Baby.  
Cas nodded "okay." He was a little sad, hoping to continue what they'd started. But Dean couldnt be cooped up for too long.  
Dean looked at Cas for another minute, before turning and heading for the stairs to the door. "I'll be back soon" he shouted over his shoulder.  
Cas heard the door close, and Dean's car start up. As he heard the engine get quieter as it moved away from the bunker, Cas sighed to himself.  
"He wanted you to go with him" Sam said.  
Cas looked over at him, and shook his head. "He didnt say that."  
"Trust me, he did. That's why he stood there looking at you all pathetic for so long."  
"I would've gone. I wanted to go. But he didnt ask." Cas replied.  
"You know Dean. He doesnt ask for things he wants." Sam said.  
"Well I wish he would. I cant read his mind... I guess technically I can, but I promised myself a long time ago I wouldnt do that to him." Cas said, a little frustrated.  
"Hes an idiot. Get used to it" Sam laughed.  
Cas sat there for a minute before standing up. "I need a break" he said to Sam, then turned and walked out of the room.  
Walking down the hall, he didnt know where he was going, he just couldnt stay in the library anymore. Why didnt Dean just ask him to go? They could've continued what they'd been doing. He really was an idiot, as Sam had said.  
Cas ended up back in the livingroom. He wandered in, and sat back on the couch. He figured he may as well turn the TV on until Dean got back. It's what he usually did when he was alone and had no heaven business. Usually when the guys were out on a hunt, or asleep.  
Cas flipped through netflix, putting something random on that he didnt really care about. He honestly just wanted to get lost in his thoughts. His thoughts about Dean.  
He laid back on the couch, kicking his feet up and resting his head on the arm of the couch. In this position, last night, he had gotten the closest to Dean hed ever been. He wanted that again. Not just the sexual part of it, though that was amazing. No, he wanted to hold Dean, for Dean to finally let his guard down and accept how Cas felt about him.  
Cas closed his eyes, letting his mind wander over the events of the last 24 hours.

As Dean pulled away from the Bunker, he shook his head. He was an idiot. If hed just asked Cas to come, he would have. He could be feeling Cas hands on his body right now. But no, he couldn't just ask.  
Instead, hes on a trip to the store, that they really didnt even need. Dean just wanted them to have some alone time, away from Sam's interruptions.  
Dean drove the long road in silence, thoughts of Cas flitting across his mind. The way Cas looked at him, touched him, made him feel something for once.  
The feelings Dean had, he couldnt explain them. When he looked at Cas, he could feel this pulling in his chest. Something hed never felt before.  
Lost in his thoughts, he was at the mini mart before he knew it. The lot was empty. He parked Baby in a spot and went inside, grabbing a basket and throwing in random things he knew they probably already had at home.  
Lost in his own thoughts, and desperate to get back to the bunker quickly, Dean didnt notice someone following him until it was too late.  
"Winchester" he heard someone growl directly behind him. He whipped around, pulling the demon knife out of his pants where it was tucked. But he wasnt quite fast enough. As he stabbed forward, digging the blade into the man's chest, he felt something pierce his stomach.  
The Demon flashed and hit the floor, and Dean looked down. Sticking out of his abdomen was the hilt of a knife.  
Dean dropped his knife and wrapped his hands around the one sticking out of him. Unable to hold himself up any longer, he sank to his knees.  
"Cas" he whispered, desperation in his voice, before he fell over and passed out.

Cas' eyes flew open, and he jumped up off the couch. Something was wrong. Cas came tearing out of the room and down the hall to the library.  
"Sam we need to go. Now. Dean's in trouble." He said.  
Sam sprang out of his chair. "What? What happened?" He asked, rushing over to Cas.  
"I dont know. I just know hes hurt. Let's go. NOW." Cas all but yelled, rushing to the bunker door. The next 15 minutes were probably the longest of his life. The whole way, Cas cursed the fact that hed lost his wings and couldnt immediately come to Dean's aid anymore, in between Sam throwing questions at him.  
"For the last time Sam, I dont know what happened. I just heard him say my name, then nothing. Hes not praying, and I cant gain access to his head which means he isnt concious. Please drive faster."  
Sam pulled the truck into the mini mart's parking lot, and Cas was out of the cab before Sam even stopped. He ran inside, desperately looking around.  
He found Dean down a far aisle, on the floor and covered in blood, a knife protruding from his stomach.  
Cas fell to his knees next to him "please dont let me be too late." Cas pressed his fingers to Dean's head. It took a few moments, an excruciating few moments, but Cas saw the hole in Dean's stomach start to heal, pushing the knife out and onto the floor.  
Dean opened his eyes, looking around. "Cas" he breathed, eyes landing on Cas' face, just inches from his. Dean started to sit up.  
Cas breathed a sigh of relief and pulled Dean to him, crushing him in a hug.  
"I dont know what happened. He caught me off guard, my mind was somewhere else. I should have been paying more attention" Dean stumbled over his words.  
Cas moved his arms from around Dean, and grabbed Dean's upper arms so he could look at him. Cas didnt say a word, just pulled Dean to him and pressed his lips against Dean's.   
Dean kissed him back, the adrenaline of almost dying surging through his veins.  
They heard a cough, and pulled apart to look up at Sam, who neither had heard approach. "I guess you're okay now?" He asked.  
Dean let off a nervous laugh. "Seems so. You guys got here quick. How did you know?"  
"You called to me." Cas said.  
Dean remembered, Cas' face was the last thing he thought about before he lost himself to the darkness. He looked back over at Cas, who was now covered in his blood.  
"Thanks" he said, and climbed to his feet. Reaching down, he helped Cas off the floor.  
They stood just staring at each other for a moment, before Sam said "we should get out of here, before the cops come. The cashier is dead behind the counter. You two head on back, I'm gonna erase the surveillance footage then I'll be right behind you." Sam leaned down and picked up the demon knife.  
Dean nodded, and headed towards the door, Cas following right behind.


	11. Chapter 11

Dean climbed behind the wheel of his car, while Cas got into the passenger seat. He didnt say a word as he started the car and drove onto the road.  
Cas looked down at himself, covered in Dean's blood. Dean could've died. He could be gone, if Cas had been a moment too late. He held his hands out in front of him, looking at the blood all over them, and he started to shake.  
"Cas?" Dean said, looking over at him.  
"I'm fine Dean" he replied.  
"You're not. You're shaking. You've never done that before." Dean said. He looked around and saw a dirt road surrounded by trees up ahead. He turned down it, driving maybe a mile before he stopped the car.  
Cas had shoved his hands underneath himself in an attempt to stop the shaking.  
"Its fine Dean. We should get you home." Cas said.   
Dean turned towards Cas, reaching his hands out and grasping Cas' wrists, freeing his hands from beneath him.  
"I dont know what this is. But I cant stop it. I have no control over it" Cas said, looking back down at his hands in Deans.  
"You're scared" was Dean's response.  
"Theres nothing to be scared of" Cas whispered. In his head, he knew what it was. He thought hed lost Dean. He finally admitted his feelings, and then he almost lost him, again. But not being able to control his body, that was new to him.  
"Look at me, Cas."  
Cas pried his eyes away from his hands, and looked up into Dean's face.  
"Its okay. Look, I'm fine. You made it in time, and that's what matters" Dean said.  
Cas started to shake his head.  
"Yes Cas. Look at me, you healed me, everything is good."  
Cas closed his eyes and took a deep breath, steadying himself. Mentally shaking away the image of Dean lying unconcious on the floor covered in blood.  
"Cas" Dean whispered. Cas could feel how close he was, and when he opened his eyes Dean's face was only a couple inches from his own.  
Without thinking, Cas lunged forward, smashing his lips to Dean's. Dean dropped Cas' hands, and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into his lap, Cas' legs on either side of him.  
Cas kissed Dean with desperation, a desperation hed never felt before, pushing himself against him to get as close as possible. He felt Dean's hands on him, all over his body, kissing him back just as hard.  
It wasnt enough. Cas wanted to feel every part of Dean, to know he was alive, to know there were no marks left from that horrible moment. This wasn't about sexual gratification, this was about feeling Dean alive against him.  
Cas slid his hands up under Dean's shirt, searching for the wound that he knew was no longer there.  
Dean pulled his face back, as far as he could. "Cas" he panted out. Cas attacked his mouth once again, shoving his tongue inside.  
Dean continued the kiss for a few more moments, before pulling away again. "Cas, calm down, its okay" Dean said, grabbing Cas' arms.  
Cas sat there, on top of Dean, breathing heavily and staring into his face. "I could've lost you. Again." He whispered.  
"But you didnt. You were there for me, like you've always been" Dean said, moving his hands up and down Cas' arms.  
Cas leaned his head down and kissed Dean again. This kiss wasnt a desperate attempt to feel him alive, no this kiss was tender, sweet, soft. Cas slid his hand behind Dean's head, running his fingers through the hair there softly.  
Dean slid is hands down to rest on Cas' waist, gripping there lightly, as Cas gently pushed his tongue into Dean's mouth.  
Hed promised Dean he wouldnt say the words until he was ready, so Cas put every ounce of love he felt into that kiss.  
Dean felt it. He felt the love that Cas had for him. He felt the need and want that Cas had to be close to him.  
After several minutes, Cas pulled back slightly, and laid his face into the crook of Dean's neck, his lips pressed against him.  
Dean pulled his arms tighter around Cas, gently rubbing across his lower back.  
Everything in Cas' head was jumbled. He told himself this was part of their job, this was the risk they took every time they left the bunker, and that he couldnt freak out like this everytime Dean got hurt.  
What felt like hours later, Cas sat up and looked into Dean's eyes. Hed finally calmed himself down.  
"I'm sorry Dean. I know my reaction was unreasonable, and I will try to control myself in the future" he said.  
Dean smiled "maybe I should almost die more often, if this is the result." He let out a small chuckle.  
Cas looked down into Dean's face seriously. "That's not funny Dean."  
"I know." Dean tilted his head up and kissed Cas one last time. "We should get back, Sammy's probably already there and wondering what happened."  
Cas nodded and slid off of Dean's lap into his seat.  
The drive back to the bunker was a quiet one, both men lost in their own thoughts.  
As they descended the stairs into the war room, Sam came running up. "What the hell happened? I would've called you but you dropped your phone. Here" Sam tossed Dean's phone to him.  
"Cant a man who almost died get 5 minutes alone without you freaking out?" Dean asked, shoving his phone in his pocket.  
"He can if he let's me know where he is. I thought another demon might've shown up." Sam said.  
Cas stood there watching the exchange. He didnt want Sam to know how bad he'd freaked out.  
Dean looked at Cas, then back at Sam. "We just took the long way back." He shrugged.  
"Whatever" was Sam's response, before turning around and walking back into the library.  
Dean looked down at himself. "I need a shower." He turned toward the hall and started walking. Then he stopped, and turned around to look at Cas. "You coming?" He asked.  
Cas nodded, and followed Dean to his room.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean went to his drawers and pulled out 2 of everything, sweat pants, shirts, underwear, and socks. Bundling them in his hands, he looked at Cas and silently walked to the door.  
Cas followed behind Dean to the shower room, sure that Dean would start up two separate showers for them.  
As Dean walked into the room, he locked the door behind them, and set the clothes on one of the benches. He went over to one of the stalls and turned the water on hot.  
Dean took a deep calming breath, then turned around and walked towards Cas.  
Not saying a word, he reached his hands out and grasped the hem of Cas' shirt, still covered in his blood, and slowly pulled it over his head. Then he grabbed ahold of his own ruined shirt and discarded it as well.  
He stepped closer to Cas, hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his pants, and slid them down. Cas stepped out of them. Then Dean did the same to his own, until they were both standing there in nothing but their underwear.  
Cas could feel his heart beating hard in his chest.  
Dean, pushing aside his nervousness, stepped even closer to Cas, until their chests were just barely touching. Cas could feel his breath on his face. Staring into Cas' eyes, Dean reached down and slowly slid Cas' underwear to the floor, then did the same to his own.  
Cas didn't move. They just looked into each others eyes as the room filled with steam.  
Then Dean slowly moved back, only 2 steps. He tore his eyes away from Cas' and let them roam over his body. His beautifully sculpted body. Dean could feel himself hardening a little just looking at Cas. His chest was hard, like he worked out every day, down to a perfect stomach, which led down to his beautifully hard member.  
Cas did the same, grazing his eyes over every inch of Dean. Nothing would ever come close in beauty to what he was looking at. He looked down at Dean's own hard cock. He was bigger than Cas imagined, having only felt it through his pants.  
Dean reached his hand out and grasped ahold of Cas' hand, turning and leading him into the shower stall.  
As the hot water cascaded down onto them, they just stood there for a moment letting it wash away the horrors of the day.  
Dean reached behind him, grabbing a washcloth and his shower gel, and squeezed a good bit onto the washcloth. Setting the bottle down, he stepped closer to Cas and ran the washcloth down one of his arms, then the other. Taking each of Cas' hands, in turn, and washing the blood off of them.  
Cas closed his eyes as Dean moved the washcloth to his chest, running it over him as the soap lathered across his chest. He felt Dean sliding the washcloth down to his stomach.  
Dean hesitated for a moment, looking into Cas' face. He took a few calming breaths, then continued down past Cas' hard member, to his legs. Dean squatted down, washing the rest of Cas, but pointedly avoiding his sensitive areas.  
As he stood back up, Cas opened his eyes. Reaching out, Cas took the washcloth from Dean. Adding more soap, he followed Dean's lead and did exactly what he had done for him, pausing at Dean's stomach for a few moments, where, not even an hour earlier, there had been a gaping hole.  
After Dean was thoroughly washed, Cas took the washcloth to his own shaft, and washed it. When he was done, he passed the washcloth back to Dean who did the same.  
They both stood under the hot water, letting it rinse them clean, as they stared into each others eyes.  
Dean brought his hand up, resting it on the back of Cas' neck. He leaned his head forward until his forehead was pressed against Cas'.  
Cas closed his eyes again, feeling Dean's closeness with every sense he had.  
As Dean stood there, his body just barely touching Cas', he felt that pull in his chest again. It caused his heartrate to speed up, his breath increasing in pace and intensity.   
Cas pulled back slightly, looking into Dean's face questioningly.  
Dean took a deep breath and shook his head slightly. Then he reached around, wrapping his arms around Cas, and pulled him flush against him.  
Cas moved his hands around Dean's lower torso, holding onto him.  
They stood like that for a while, just holding onto each other, until the water started to run lukewarm.  
Dean pulled back first, reaching around Cas and turning the water off.  
They both stepped out of the shower, and Dean grabbed a towel off the hook next to them. He ran it slowly over Cas' body, removing all the water before dropping it to the floor.  
He then grabbed his own towel and did the same to himself.  
When that was finished, he went over to the clothes hed brought in and tossed a set to Cas, who started to put them on.  
As Dean pulled on his own clothes, he attempted to stop the panic that started creeping into his chest.  
Hed never done anything so intimate with somebody. Something that wasn't sexual at all, just closeness and taking care of each other.  
As he pulled on his last piece of clothing, and continued to attempt to control his breathing, he heard Cas behind him say "Dean" quietly.  
Dean turned around, and Cas could see the panic on his face.  
It seemed that everytime they got close, Dean started regressing back into his head.  
Cas took a step towards him, and it took everything Dean had not to step back away from him. His breathing was now almost labored. Dean was pretty sure he was in the beginning stages of a panic attack.  
Cas took another tentative step towards him. "Dont shut me out" he whispered.  
Dean closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, trying to push the thoughts out of his head.  
Cas took one more step towards him, now just inches away. "Please." It was so quiet Dean almost couldn't hear him over his anxious breaths.  
Dean held his hand out to stop Cas from coming any closer. "Just, give me a second, okay?"  
Dean stood there, trapped in his own head. In an attempt to calm down, he told himself this is Cas, my best friend, one of the people I care about most in this world. Dont push him away. Calm down. Everything's fine.  
After what felt like an eternity of just standing there, Cas could see the panic slowly fall from Dean's face.  
Dean opened his eyes and looked at Cas. "I'm sorry."  
Cas shook his head, concern coloring his face. "I'm pushing you too far too fast" he said.  
"No, you're not doing anything wrong. Theres something wrong with me. I'm trying so hard to control this, but at times it creeps in before I know what's happening." Dean replied.  
"Let me help you" Cas said.  
Dean shook his head now. "There's nothing you can do to help, Cas. Its something I'm just gonna have to work through."  
"How do you feel now?" Cas asked.  
Dean thought for a moment. "Better. I think it's pretty much passed."  
Dean suddenly felt wobbly on his feet, and started to sway a bit.  
"You need to lay down" Cas said. "After everything you've been through, you're exhausted."  
Dean nodded.  
Cas slowly moved forward, and took ahold of Dean's hand. Silently, he let him down the hall to his room.  
Once there, Dean went to his bed and climbed into it. Cas stood in the doorway watching him.  
"Can you stay?" Dean asked.  
Cas nodded. Closing the door, he moved to the other side of Dean's bed and climbed in.  
Dean turned onto his right side, and placed his left hand on Cas' arm. That's the last thing he remembered, before he drifted off to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Dean woke up slowly. With his eyes still closed, he felt around next to him, searching for Cas, but finding nothing.  
He opened his eyes. It was fairly dark, just one small lamp on the desk on. His bed was empty and his heart started to pound a bit.  
Calm down, he probably just got bored of watching you sleep and went to watch TV, Dean told himself.  
He climbed out of bed, and started to make his way to the door, when he saw it quietly open. Dean stopped halfway there, and watched Cas sneak back in.  
"Oh, you're up" Cas said, looking at Dean's still half asleep form.  
Dean nodded. "I woke up and you were gone."  
"I just went to clean up our stuff from the showers. I thought you'd be asleep for a while." Cas replied, stepping fully into the room and closing the door behind him.  
Without saying a word, Dean strode over to Cas and pushed him up against the door. Feeling a need he couldnt explain, he pressed his lips against Cas'.  
Surprised, but pleasantly so, Cas kissed Dean back, wrapping his arms around him.  
Dean pulled back, and aggressively attacked Cas' neck, kissing and biting every inch he could reach. Cas tilted his head back against the door, giving Dean more space to explore.  
As he did this, Dean moved his hands down to Cas waist, pushing his fingers under the elastic.   
Cas couldn't think straight. He felt himself growing harder, his cock straining against his pants now.  
Dean moved his lips back to Cas', mercilessly shoving his tongue into his mouth, like he didn't need to breathe.  
Suddenly, Dean grabbed the top of Cas' pants and underwear, and pulled them down, freeing his aching shaft. Cas all but whimpered as the cool air hit his hard on, digging his fingers into Dean's back.  
Dean pulled his mouth from Cas', and dropped to his knees, his face mere inches from Cas' hard cock.  
"Dean-" Cas started.  
"Shut up, Cas." With that, Dean took the base of Cas' member into his hand. He slowly stroked, from base to tip once. He looked up at Cas, and, staring into his eyes, he stuck his tongue out and licked the precum from his head. Then he opened his mouth, and slowly slid it over the end of Cas' cock.  
"Fuck" Cas said, closing his eyes and dropping his head back against the door behind him. He felt the wet warmth of Dean's mouth envelope his shaft.  
Cas moaned loudly, fisting his left hand into Dean's hair.  
Dean took more of Cas into his mouth, until he was completely engulfed, from tip to base. Cas felt his head hit the back of Dean's throat, and forgot how to breathe.  
Slowly, Dean moved his head back, using his tongue to add pressure.  
As he did this, Dean took his right hand and slid it down into his own pants, wrapping it around his pulsing cock, moaning around Cas in his mouth.  
Cas looked down at Dean. The sight of Dean on his knees, his member in his mouth, was enough to make him want to come undone right there. Then Cas saw Dean's hand down his own pants, stroking himself, and he almost lost all control.  
Dean moved his left hand up and around to grab ahold of Cas' firm ass, pulling him hard and causing his dick to plunge deep in his mouth once again.  
Dean did this a few more times, until Cas grabbed firmly onto Dean's hair, stopping him.  
Dean looked up at Cas' questioningly, his mouth still half full of Cas.  
Cas panted "if you dont stop, I'm going to come in your mouth."  
Dean smirked around Cas, grabbed ahold of his ass, and plunged him into his mouth again, while stroking himself faster.  
Cas growled. Watching Dean touch himself, watching himself disappear into Dean's hot wet mouth over and over again, it was too much.  
Unable to hold back anymore, Cas let go. He felt his sweet release travel through his entire body, as his cum shot down Dean's throat.  
Dean stopped stroking himself, focused on swallowing everything Cas gave him. He heard the most amazing sound hed ever heard come out of Cas' mouth, making his own dick even harder.  
Once Cas was spent, Dean removed his mouth from around him, wiping his mouth off with the bottom of his own shirt.  
Dean pulled himself up off the floor and looked at Cas, who was standing there, panting, and looking completely sexed out. It was probably the most beautiful thing hed ever seen.  
Dean leaned over and lightly pressed his lips to Cas', for just a moment, before pulling back and smiling at him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. I havent decided if I want to continue it or not. We'll see if inspiration strikes me.  
> Thanks for reading!

Dean turned away, walking over to the desk. He grabbed a glass, filled it with the amber liquid, and drank it. He really enjoyed that, but if he was being honest, cum wasnt the best tasting thing hed ever had.  
He set the glass back on the desk and turned around. Cas was standing right in front of him. He'd redressed himself and come over, and Dean hadnt even heard him move.  
Without a word, Cas grabbed Dean by the ass and lifted him up against himself, setting him on the desk.  
That threw Dean off guard. He didnt know why he was always surprised at Cas' strength.  
Cas wedged himself in between Dean's legs, pulling him right to the edge of the desk and up against him.  
Dean grunted, feeling himself grow harder in his pants. He realized that Cas' dominance over him was beginning to be a huge turn on, which was new for him.  
Cas grabbed ahold of the back of Dean's head and pulled it towards him, pressing their lips together. Cas pushed his tongue past Dean's lips and into his mouth, tasting the burn of the whiskey, and something salty. He was tasting himself in Dean's mouth. He started to grow hard again at this.  
Cas thrust his hips forward and pulled Dean against him at the same time, eliciting a moan from Dean's mouth.  
They stayed like that for a while, exploring each other's mouths, and rutting against each other.  
Cas had grown completely hard again, and could feel that Dean was straining against his pants.  
Cas kissed along Dean's jawline until he got to his ear. "Let me make you feel good." He whispered, then continued to kiss down to Dean's neck.  
In that moment, Dean realized something. All Cas ever wanted was for Dean to feel good, for him to be happy, for him to approve of the things Cas did. He gave up everything for Dean, never thinking about the repercussions for himself. He gave up his family to be by Dean's side.  
As Cas sucked on his neck, he realized what that pulling feel in his chest was. The feeling hed never had before. The feeling that had been causing panic to course through his body.  
"Cas" Dean said.  
Cas continued his assault on Dean's neck.  
"Cas" Dean said again, more forcefully, pushing on Cas' shoulders.  
Cas pulled back a little and looked at Dean.  
Dean stared into the depths of Cas' blue eyes. "I love you." He whispered.  
Dean could see Cas' eyes light up at the words hed said. He just stood there and stared at Dean for a few moments, butterflies going crazy in his stomach, before crashing their lips back together. Cas kissed Dean with such intensity it took his breath away.  
After several minutes of the most intense kiss hed ever had, Dean pulled back just a little, resting his forehead on Cas'. He closed his eyes, and said "I need you Cas. Fuck me. Please."  
With those words, Cas grabbed Dean's ass, hoisted him up, and carried him to the bed. He laid him down on the pillows, climbing between Dean's legs.  
Cas leaned down over Dean, pressing soft kisses to his lips. "Are you sure?" He asked. He wanted this so bad, more than anything, but he wasnt going to push Dean into something he wasnt ready for.  
"Yes. I want you. All of you. I want to feel you inside me." Dean said, pulling Cas' mouth back to his.  
Cas grabbed ahold of Dean's shirt and slid it over his head, exposing a wonderful expanse of bare chest. Then he sat up a bit, pulling his own shirt over his head.  
Kissing down Dean's neck to his chest, only stopping to nip at his skin, Cas ran his hands along every part of Dean's skin he could reach.  
He continued his path downwards, until he hit the top of Dean's pants. He looked up at Dean, who was looking back at him with such desire in his eyes.  
Cas grabbed the waist of Dean's sweat pants and boxers, and slid them down, pulling them off and tossing them to the floor.  
Cas sat back on his knees, looking down at the wonder that was Dean's naked body. Raking his eyes from Dean's face, down to his hard cock, and back up again.  
Dean shifted under Cas' intense stare. He was cocky on the outside, but inside he was actually pretty self conscious about his body. All of the scars from past battles with monsters, the extra little bit of fat around his middle, all things he didnt like about his body.  
"You're perfect" Cas whispered, taking one more long look at Dean's nakedness beneath him.  
Cas reached down and slid his own bottoms off, exposing the rest of himself, and throwing them to the floor as well.  
Cas crawled back up Dean's body, placing kisses all the way up until he reached his mouth.  
Dean leaned over to the side then, reaching into the drawer of the nightstand and pulling out a bottle. He handed it to Cas, and Cas took it willingly.  
Hed been around for millenia, he knew how this worked.  
Cas held the bottle between his fingers for a moment, warming it up. He wanted to make this as comfortable for Dean as possible.  
Laying there, watching Cas, Dean felt himself getting nervous. This was all new to him. He didnt know why he wanted it this way, not the other way around, he just knew he did. He wanted to feel all of Cas, every inch of him.  
Cas squirted a bit of the liquid onto his fingers, rubbing it around with his thumb, and looked at Dean again, searching for confirmation that he was ready.  
Dean took a deep breath and nodded.  
Cas leaned back over Dean, putting his weight on his left forearm, and slid his right hand in between them. Dean bent his left leg, giving Cas more access.  
As Cas' finger rubbed around Dean's entrance, he pressed his lips to Dean's.  
Cas' finger slowly entered his hole, and Dean gasped into Cas' mouth at the sting. Cas took the opportunity to plunge his tongue into Dean's mouth.  
Cas worked his finger around, loosening Dean up, all the while kissing Dean, trying to take his mind off the new intrusion.  
After a few minutes, Cas could feel Dean's body relax beneath him, so he started to put a second finger in, stretching him even further.  
Dean pulled his face back from Cas' and closed his eyes. Fuck this hurts, he thought, but knowing it was Cas' fingers inside of him made his cock twitch.  
Cas pressed his lips to Dean's neck, sucking a mark into it, while working his fingers around.  
He could tell when Dean was ready, as hed relaxed and started making pleased noises.  
Cas removed his fingers, and positioned himself above Dean, lining up his hard cock with Dean's hole.  
He looked into Dean's eyes as his tip slowly moved inside of him. Dean closed his eyes, throwing his head back into the pillow.  
"Dean" Cas said. Dean kept his eyes squeezed shut. "Dean, look at me."  
Dean opened his eyes, searching Cas' face, only inches from his own.  
"I love you" Cas whispered, as he pushed the rest of the way in.  
Dean grunted, digging his blunt nails into Cas' back. Cas moaned, feeling Dean's heat enclose around him.  
Once inside, Cas stayed still for a few minutes. It was excruciating, the need to move his hips almost overtaking his resolve to give Dean time to adjust.  
Cas pressed his lips against Dean's ear. "Just relax." He whispered.  
Dean willed his body to untense, and slowly, bit by bit, he felt himself loosen up.  
Cas looked back into Dean's face, feeling the change.  
Dean nodded, and taking that as he was ready, Cas moved his hips back, slowly pulling his aching shaft almost all the way out, then back in. He did this a couple more times, very slowly, making sure he wasnt causing Dean too much pain.  
Dean dropped his hand to the bed, and Cas slid his right hand up to grasp Dean's hand in his own, folding their fingers together.  
Dean gripped tight to Cas' hand as he felt him moving inside him. Slowly, the pain faded away, and was replaced by pleasure.  
Cas continued his slow pace, it taking everything he had not to just thrust into Dean. The feeling of Dean surrounding him, buried deep within him, was almost too much. If he didnt take it slow, it might be over far before he was ready.  
Dean started to move with Cas, pushing down on him, burying his cock deeper inside him.  
Cas thrust into him hard, and a burst of pleasure shot through Dean's whole body, which caused him to let out a loud moan.  
Cas realized hed found that wonderful bundle of nerves, and angeled himself so each thrust hit it in just the right spot.  
Assaulting Dean's prostate over and over again, Cas pulled his hand out of Dean's, and slipped it between them, fisting it around Dean's throbbing cock, rubbing it up and down.  
Dean threw his head back into the pillows again, this time in pleasure. Searching for anything to hold onto, he grabbed the sheets in his hands.  
Cas stared at Dean, watching him come undone beneath him. Listening to the most wonderful sounds come out of Dean's mouth. This was better than anything Cas had ever imagined.  
"Cas" Dean moaned. "Please dont stop."  
Cas moved his hips faster, pumping his hand in time with his thrusts. Squeezing his eyes shut, he could feel himself getting closer to the edge, holding himself back. He wanted to make Dean feel good.  
"Kiss me" Dean begged.  
Cas obliged, shoving his tongue into Dean's mouth. Dean slid his hand behind Cas' head, wrapping his fingers in his hair.  
Dean had never felt anything this good in his life. He never wanted it to end. He could feel the pull in his stomach and knew he was close.  
"Cas... so... close" he said, between kisses.  
Cas thrust even harder into him, making Dean wimper.  
"Let go" Cas whispered into Dean's mouth. And Dean did. He stopped holding back. With a loud moan, he felt himself come, pleasure coursing through his body.  
Cas buried his head in the crook of Dean's neck as he felt his cum cover his fist. Cas thrust into him a couple more times and felt his cock throb as his load shot out, filling Dean.  
Cas slowed his thrusts until he was empty, collapsing on top of Dean.  
Both out of breath, they laid there, their chests heaving, neither willing to be the first to move.  
Dean released his hand from Cas' hair, and moved it to his back, slowly rubbing.  
After a while, Cas climbed back up onto his knees, pulling his spent cock out of him. Looking down into Dean's face, he knew he could never give this up.  
Dean smiled. "What?" He asked, when Cas continued to stare at him.  
Cas shook his head. "That was more than I ever thought it could be."  
Dean laughed and pulled Cas back to him, kissing him lightly.  
Cas rolled to the side, off of Dean, and pulled Dean against him. Dean rested his head on Cas' bare chest and yawned.  
"You should sleep" Cas said, stroking Dean's hair.  
Dean shook his head, but didn't say anything. He hadnt felt this happy in... Well, he didn't think hed ever felt this happy. This satisfied.  
Dean closed his eyes and listened to the beating of Cas' heart against his ear. He could get used to this.  
The rhythmic noise, and the warmth of Cas' arms around him were too much, and, without having a say in it, he drifted off to sleep.  
Cas kissed the top of Dean's head. "Sleep well, my love."


End file.
